Agility training

I asked my wife what would be a good story to start introducing myself and my work and this was it.

Some day last week I was on my way to the third farm stop of the day. As a fairly new person to the area I often have to get directions to the farm from someone at the clinic before I leave. This particular time I got directions to the place that according to Susan, "It must be there because that is the only place with decent cattle working facilities". Upon arrival there was not a soul to be seen and only one set of tire tracks in the snow that had fallen the night before. Obviously I was not in quite the right place and after some radio and phone communications I got directed just across the road to a larger farmstead.

As is almost always the case the farmer was not quite ready when I arrived and I got to shiver in the cold wind while the Farmer Joe and helpers proceeded to break the frozen manure out of the bottom of the chute to allow for proper function. In order to appreciate my the experience we need to understand the set up of the working facility. The squeeze chute was set at the end of an alley approximately 20 yards long. At one time this had all been new but that day was in the long past and as a result the farmer had remodeled by placing portable metal panels on the inside of each side of the alley for the entire length of the runway as I like to call it. Thanks to the remodeling the man gate to allow easy access to the back of the chute for preg checking was rendered unusable and, instead, I got to scale the 6 foot fence after each heifer came into the chute to be checked and then follow her out through the chute and then let the next heifer in. As the system went, 2-4 head were brought in to the alley and one was brought the length of the alley into the chute, while the remaining heifers waited at the far end of the runway with a helper keeping watch to make sure that the didn't come forward. In other words from north to south in the alleyway this is how everything was layed out: 2-3 heifers waiting in the north end of the alley, 15 yards of empty space, me standing directly behind a heifer that is wondering why my hand and arm are shoulder deep inside her rectum.
Now if all the heifers had been willing to co-operate and stand in their appointed places then all would have been well and I would have just had plenty of excercise for the day. Instead, as is generally the case with animals, some have a better idea of how this should work. One heifer in particular was unwilling to wait her turn and came running and pushing up on the heifer in front of her to get in the chute. It took plenty of persuasion to get her moved back, as each time she would back up a few steps and then come charging and smash into the rear end of the heifer in front of her. After several of these attempts we finally got her to back the entire length of the alley and stand quietely. In a hurry to get done with the poor heifer in the chute I quickly scaled the fence and went to work. Not trusting the heifer in back I was watching behind myself the entire time, and just as I inserted my arm the heifer charged and the helper yelled. In an earlier life I competed in many sports...one of which was gymnastics. I took one step back, jumped and grabbed the top rail of each side of the alley like a set of parallet bars and swung my feet up and over as 1100 lbs of angry angus heifer rushed underneath me and collided with the back of the heifer right where I had been standing.
Though that was the major incident of the day, before we were done I scaled a pile of 3 heifers checking each one as I went, becasue none of them could wait and they were jammed in so tight that none of them could move and somehow ended up standing completely on top of the chute. The icing on top of the cake was when we were almost done one helper said, " We should have done this at the Jones place, there is a new chute with a good alley, and a palp cage door that locks and lets the vet in".
"Oh, " I said, " Where might that be?"

"It is the old Jones place...right across the road."